August 2006 Hey friends, I just got back from my "Holy relationships" workshop in Bellingham with Sandy Levey-Lunden, and it was so incredible I just wanted to share it. Two weeks ago, I realized I was at a crossroads in my relationships. My husband and I are buying a house, and all my crap came rearing up around: terror of commitment and intimacy, not believing I'll ever get what I want, believing somehow that marriage, home, etc is for other people but I'm just an imposter, and on and on. In my friendships, I could support and listen to other people's stories, but found it near impossible to open my self up authentically in return. What I really wanted to do was my classic technique "Cut and run" Someone challenged me that maybe I have to choose between my ego story of fear and trauma and lack ORTrust and Faith and arrive fully into relationships with other human beings and feeling whole and complete. I obviously wanted to choose the latter, but how? I believed I had built a lifetime shell to "protect" myself from true vulnerability. So, I actually prayed. "God, I know I really want to choose belonging, but I don't know how. I am too afraid." that night Michael Ryce came to speak, and I heard the answer, forgiveness. I saw what it looked like. I believed what he was saying, it rung true. And I yearned for more. I yearned to experience true forgiveness. Well, honestly I yearned to experience peace and love and if meant forgiveness, then ok. A few days later, Mary invited me to learn the clearing process which is all about reminding us of our capital-T truth in a powerful way that even MY ego couldn't bargain with. I had a gut feeling to go, so I drove up to Sandy's house in Bellingham and tried to sneak in and sit in the back. When I opened the door, Sandy's dog barked and barked and barked until the entire group stopped and looked at me and I was introduced. So much for sneaking in! the next three days were incredible, like rainfall on a parched landscape. I just feel so blessed, and released and freed and heard and celebrated and loved. One of the things I decided to do as a result is to allow myself to be visible in my community, and to let y'all see me and my journey. So, all that was to say, if any of you are like me, and have any longing or yearning for that "more", I highly recommend this process with Sandy. In fact, I was enrolled to start a 4 month therapy process that I no longer believe I need, and I definitely plan to continue this work though using the Course in Miracles. See everyone tonight! with LOVE, Rebecca